Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Let Me Set The Record Straight


Hope your day started out wonderfully and is flowing to a peaceful calm.. I want to set the record straight about who I am because many men seem to fail to understand the kind of person I am and get freaked the fuck out from simple words..
Anywhoo I want to start off with the small things first why don't I dress up like a barbie doll (everything fake)?? Well I don't believe in damaging my hair for one night to end up sweating it out (working out, dancing) doesn't make sense to me.. As for fake nails no thank you, never understood them especially when one can grow their own nails.. Make-up is nice and the smallest amount can transform you into a new person, I personally think it's like lying....I don't believe in it and I have sensitive skin anyway so I'd breakout.. Lastly a small childhood fear kept me from wearing make-up as well, I could imagine the women of an Indigenous tribe of the Americas sitting around a fire telling stories of women losing the beauty the Creator bestowed upon them from using the white mans paint on their faces....I could just imagine something like that happening to me.. Waking up looking one morning, look in the mirror and my natural beauty is just GONE forever....a slightly scary thought for a child..
Why do I do the most?? Well....I know Muslims don't follow astrology and zodiacs it's like giving in to or allowing your lower self to take rule over you and that's not acceptable, understandable I can respect that.. I myself don't follow it but I will not deny the truth in it especially being a Leo/Virgo, yes I said LEO/VIRGO people I was born on a cusp
so I have traits of both zodiacs which honestly makes me come off as an over emotional, indecisive, passionate, overly sensitive being (well technically there's another reason to the overly emotional and overly sensitive issue).. Let me just make one thing clear in regards to me being passionate about everything.. Since I'm not "partaking in horizontal refreshment" (that quote belongs to Fredrick Thuglas) all I have are my passionate words.. The way some of you brothers are out here fucking a different sister every week meaning when it's over there will be no love shared, cuddling, future caking or dating experienced.. This is the way I use my words with the opposite sex but not exactly because I don't say I still feel the same way weeks after said words are spoken would be a lie because truth is feelings change just like some brothers sex partners change.. 
So here is an example of my words of passion being taken wrong mostly because the brother didn't yet know who I was as a person: "so since you will never be all mine till forever LoL no smashing of bodies and atoms and a beautiful explosion of spiritual/physical love, well I just don't want to egg myself on about you..", that's what I said sounds kind of intense but when one is speaking in the MOMENT like a moment of fucking it's not really that intense once you think about it.. Now do I still feel that way about the brother I said that to, no I don't honestly.. The feeling passed a week or so after that was said, I did continue to try and pursue him though as a romantic interest but as usual I came off as some creepy chick who couldn't take the hint....oh but I got the hint once I was ignored and shipped off to the leper colony....we're no longer friends.. Funny thing is I not only creep out the brothers that I try to pursue but even the ones who try to pursue me -laughs-.. 
Oh poor little me WHOMP WHOMP we can't all be with someone it's just not meant for everyone sadly.. Love when reciprocated is such a beautiful blessing.. Another thing, I say sorry a lot mostly because I learnt that when you say certain things one may offend people more times than not so I end up saying sorry a lot after I say something really passionate because 9 times out of 10 I make the next person feel some kind of way which isn't my intention I was only speaking my mind, just being honest in the moment is all.. I know it's not my fault if they feel some kind of way but still it seems rude to me if I don't apologize..
For the record just because I said some passionate words unlike your passionate fuck I still have standards brotha man.. I still want to go on a few dates before I even think to call you my man because any brother can easily make me feel some kind of way especially if we have similar values and beliefs....but that doesn't mean shit like I said I want to go on a few dates and I'll pay for myself because I don't like being surprised by brothers who are on that well you owe me "something" shit, hell no negro get the fuck out of here with that....better go find an easy fuck..
I'm into letting people know who I am so they don't get confused about somethings or paint negative pictures of me because that shit isn't cool.. Humans are naturally judgmental and I like to squash any issues before they become problems.. I'm saying all this for myself and a little for you all so your slightly knowledgeable about who I am especially if you were confused about somethings.. Like I earlier stated about speaking passionately...truth is if I was there with you in person I probably wouldn't even be on anything, that's not even a walk I'd walk with my boyfriend (you can ask my last one, took me a whole month to kiss him), kind of detached from humanity for a while after that gat damn dysfunctional -shakes head-.. 
Anything I failed to mention about myself that you fail to understand or confuses you don't be afraid to ask because I LOVE answering questions and setting the record straight.. Comment your question, email me, skype it....just don't be afraid to ask..
OHHHH and one more thing I'm selfish, I'd never deny that especially if I'm supposed to be a brothers "somebody", I want your attention but if another sister steps on the scene I won't fight for you I'm not into that because I was probably going to lose out eventually.. I don't compete, at that point you've made it clear you never really wanted me in the first place..
Ohhhhhhh yeah sex....I'm waiting until marriage because I don't want just any brother releasing his seed into me and all sorts of kind of unwanted energies.. I don't need all that, if I were a less spiritual kind of hippie lover sure I'd share myself with you and probably the next brother but that would get me labeled a whore and I don't need that plus I don't want to release any of my unwanted energies on the next person, that would be rude and selfish.. I'm not sex voodoo lover so it's not like I could pin point and push a certain energy into the next person that would be wack.. Also oral sex is to be shared between a husband and wife that's almost more intimate than intercourse....but I give props to those of you over indulging in the opposite sex's punanies and yoo-hoos..
Now I'm done..

Peace & Blessings, That Black Girl


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